Eminem - The Real Slim Shady (Instrumental)

[00:03.12] May I have your attention please? [00:04.93] May I have your attention please? [00:08.01] Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? [00:12.44] I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? [00:17.09] We're gonna have a problem here. [00:18.30] Y'all act like you never seen a white person before [00:20.39] Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door [00:23.28] And started whooping her ass worse than before [00:25.05] They first were divorced, throwing her over furniture (Ah!) [00:27.34] It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, [00:30.09] He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" [00:32.04] And Dr. Dre said... nothing, you idiots! [00:34.61] Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!) [00:36.69] Feminist women love Eminem [00:38.55] "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him [00:40.82] Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what [00:43.92] Flipping the you-know-who." "Yeah, but he's so cute though!" [00:46.54] Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose [00:49.08] But no worse, than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms [00:51.24] Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't [00:54.08] But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose [00:55.94] "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips" [00:58.14] And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss [01:00.09] And that's the message that we deliver to little kids [01:02.59] And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is [01:04.75] Of course they gonna know what intercourse is [01:06.35] By the time they hit fourth grade [01:07.31] They got the Discovery Channel, don't they? [01:09.23] "We ain't nothing but mammals." Well, some of us cannibals [01:11.56] Who cut other people open like cantaloupesBut if we can hump dead animals and antelopes [01:15.75] Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope [01:18.35] [*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote [01:20.70] Women wave your pantyhose, sing the and it goes [01:23.06] 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady [01:25.10] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating [01:27.89] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, [01:30.16] Please stand up, please stand up? [01:32.48] Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady [01:35.07] All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating [01:37.12] So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, [01:39.32] Please stand up, please stand up? [01:41.87] Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records; [01:44.16] Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too! [01:45.54] You think I give a damn about a Grammy? [01:47.46] Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me [01:50.71] "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" [01:52.56] Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here? [01:54.78] So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears? [01:57.16] Yo Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs [01:59.45] So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst [02:01.83] And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first [02:04.04] Little bitch, put me on blast on MTV [02:06.20] "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!" [02:08.58] I should download her audio on MP3 [02:10.84] And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me [02:16.49] So I have been sent here to destroy you And there's a million of us just like me [02:20.13] Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me [02:22.38] Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me [02:25.01] It just might be the next best thing but not quite me! [02:46.16] I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only giving you [02:48.15] Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room [02:50.26] The only difference is I got the balls to say it [02:52.52] In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all [02:55.55] I just get on the mic and spit it [02:57.73] And whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it [02:59.62] Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can [03:01.74] Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums [03:03.70] It's funny; 'cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty [03:06.30] I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting [03:08.61] Pinching nurses asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens [03:10.82] And I'm jerking but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working [03:13.13] And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking [03:15.29] He could be working at Burger King, spitting on your onion rings [03:18.28] [*HACH*] Or in the parking lot, circling [03:19.27] Screaming "I don't give a fuck!" [03:20.65] With his windows down and his system up [03:22.20] So, will the real Shady please stand up? [03:24.33] And put one of those fingers on each hand up? [03:26.74] And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control [03:29.16] And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? [03:31.79] [Ha ha [04:10.88] Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us [04:13.10] Fuck it, let's all stand up [04:22.19]